mrs_patootie | Recent Entries

I watched Hacksaw Ridge earlier this week with Leo. It's a story based on a real man, Desmond Doss, who was awarded the Medal of Honor for his amazing and courageous acts during World War II. He was the first pacifists to not carry a gun in US Army History. If you can deal with seeing gruesome images of death and blown up body parts, then I'd suggest giving it a watch. If you can't deal with that sort of imagery, then I suggest looking up Desmond Doss. His story is an inspirational one - whether you are religious or not, believe in the military or not. His compassion is overwhelming.

I went to hang out with my best friend (Levi) yesterday... I'm not really sure if I can still call him my best friend after the drama that he put me through months ago (that I may explain some other day), and it was a mix of awkward, emotional, and entertaining. I met two of his friends that he spent our entire friendship bitching about (they both seem like lovely girls), and they cooked turkey tacos for us. We played Bob's Burgers Monopoly and indulged in some Moscato. I apparently had a whole bottle to myself, but I didn't really notice until I got to my last glass and my gums felt numb... It hit me pretty hard after that.

Levi drove me home, and as soon as I got inside I decided I needed to prepare my son's clothes for school and made his lunch. At least drunk me is very productive...

Unfortunately, I completely forgot about my reflux issues and woke around 3am to nurse an upset stomach that just would not go away...and I was still feeling a bit intoxicated, so I didn't want to waddle to the car to grab my antacids. Yeesh... Needless to say, I didn't get a lot of sleep.

Today was my first day of the Fall semester, and my first class for Anatomy and Physiology. I'm glad that I have a professor who seems passionate and truly wants his students to succeed. Thankfully, my class is very small (no more than twenty-four students are permitted for this particular class) and an acceptable alternate to my text book is free (through OpenStax). I'm probably going to pay $15 to have it printed out so that I can highlight and make notes. ♥ Overall, it saved me $300USD.

I also discovered that I can buy a book bag with my book stipend from financial aid, so I was able to get a nice JanSport from the college book store!

The book store also had these really awesome reference binder inserts for A & P 1 and 2 (and they were only $7USD each) that label everything even slightly relevant, so I bought one of each and a blank version for studying. I'm actually very excited about this class!

Now, I'm being a hermit and playing GW2 (waiting for WvW reset) and ignoring Levi's texts. I told him I would go to a gay club with him tonight, but I still have serious reservations about reigniting our friendship. As a result, I'm being a shitty person...

Guild Wars 2 recently announced their second expansion, Path of Fire, which will introduce unique mounts, new elite specializations, and five new (large) maps. The best part is that we'll be able to go to my most anticipated location, The Crystal Desert! My body is ready.

( Some of my Guild Wars 2 characters... )

I wasn't going to post about this initially, but I figured what the heck... I'm sure there's someone out there who is curious about this sort of thing or may have some helpful advice to offer.

I had my helix pierced a few months ago. It's snazzy, and I love it.

I had a titanium five stone (mint green cubic zirconia) cluster from Anatametal put in the day I had it pierced. (I also had my second lobe done — which you can see in the above picture as well — with the same metals and stones on the same day.) I am beyond thrilled with it.

However, it recently became infected. I stupidly went in a pool while on vacation and — seeing as it can take a very long time for cartilage to heal — that's not something you typically want to do... My whole ear has swollen up (though, it's not quite to twice the size frightening). It just looks puffy and oddly smooth. There was a little bump on the back side of the piercing that had visible puss within it.

For those who are unaware, you do not remove jewelry from an infected piercing. That runs the risk of the infection becoming worse. Instead, you treat it by using saline to remove any crusties (dried blood or skin oils) and monitor it carefully. In the event that it doesn't seem to be getting better — or if it gets worse at all — it's best then to go to your doctor for antibiotics.

My little "bump" burst a few days ago and started leaking puss. Yes, very gross. However, it ended up being a very small amount to what I expected, and then yesterday it started bleeding freely. Like, blood was dripping everywhere. This is because there was so much pressure built up from the swelling, so once all that puss was out the blood only had one place to go — out, out, out!

The swelling hasn't gone down noticeably, but it may take a few days. Even so, I will continue to monitor it. If it gets bigger at all you can bet I'll be at my doctor's in a heartbeat.

It's been years since I was really into journaling. I used to set aside a little time every day to write something, anything, because it helped me process my emotions and really get to the thick of things. (Of course, this was also around the time I was first diagnosed with BPD — Bipolar Disorder.) Somewhere along the way I just felt that I didn't have time for it, and — as the depression really started to set in — I didn't know how to really talk about myself or my life anymore.

A lot has changed since then, however...

I am now a twenty-seven year old (okay, nearly twenty-eight year old) college freshmen. I dropped out of school in the 10th grade (though I used to say it was the 11th grade as though that really mattered). It took me nine years to get my GED, and then nearly a year later I finally put my application in at a local college and suffered through my first semester (summer, ugh). I have a 4.0 GPA, and it makes me incredibly anxious to think about. (I feel that it's necessary that I maintain that GPA because I want to be competitive when I apply to the nursing program!) I'm starting Fall semester next week.

Maybe you're sitting there thinking, "Hey, you're really doing well. You should keep your chin up!" I wish that I could, but there always seems to be something to keep my nerves occupied. For example... I can't drive. I need to drive, but I can't because 1) I don't have a license and 2) this wasn't a skill that my parents ever really thought to teach me. Driving schools are expensive, and when I think about getting on the road and giving it the old college try (that thing that took me ten years to do anyway) I get a little...panicked. I drove once to a mall; thirty minutes on back-roads and when we made it to a four way stop with traffic lights, well... I panicked and slammed us into a parking spot so fast I think I gave my passenger whiplash.

It's a work in progress.

I also have a son. He's six now. Six. I'm not sure where all this time has gone — and I know it's a bit of a cliche to say — but... It surely feels like we just brought him home. I'm not really much of a maternal person, but my son is this amazing little wonder that I never imagined myself being apart of. I'm not sure what my life would be like without him, but I truly do not believe I would be on the path that I am on now if it wasn't for him. ♥

As of the 20th, I'll have been married for seven years. My marriage has not been without it's trials, to say the least. My husband has PTSD, and for over a year I was his care taker on top of working full time, taking care of our son, and maintaining our home... I became very tired at some point and very hollow. I wish I could say that I regret all the harsh things I have spoken or have done, but in many ways they are responsible for the mending of my marriage... Things are not "all good" yet, but we're getting there day by day.

I wish I could use this post to jot down every major thing that's happened in my life thus far to give you a general idea of where I am now, but really... That would be too long. There were so many things, so many people that I felt needed to be removed from my life, so much heartache... But I feel ever the stronger for it, and maybe I am the strongest that I've ever been in my life because of it all... Who knows?

I'll just say welcome to my new friends. Welcome. I hope to get to know and befriend many of you.

Bloo

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